Wednesday, December 19, 2012

April 2012 - Its not working

I’d been back at work now for a week or 2, and started to get anxious as it wasn’t really going the way I had hoped…

Part of my job is that I have to train people using our software package , and that involved looking over peoples shoulders in a class room situation, looking at what they are doing, and to see f they are going the right way or not, and if needs be correct them and show them the right way… well, that was one thing that definitely wasn’t working the right way, I couldn’t see shit on the screen it was too far away….  Bummer…
My other tasks were pretty do-able, but I could only do half days, as by the time id hit 3pm, my eyes were sore and teary, and I ended squinting more and more…
Not good….
What now? What if I can’t work the way I used to, what then?
Of course, work would have to make reasonable adjustments etc, but still… its more than expecting Work to adapt to you.. maybe I’m not being able to tackle KC as  much as I though i could… Wow.. and I was in such a good place for a while, and now this was sooooo dragging me down..
My first port of call was my optometrist, and explained the dilemma.. .and she was so cool and collected about it, that I put my mind at rest for a bit… she said, “come in for a test where we will try and fit you with Glasses to use on Top of your contacts….”
Which I did, and it looked like we had found a balance in the testing environment, however it was made clear enough, that this was a last resort and if it didn’t work, well, then we had something else to think about..
And that other thing to think about, really got to me, what if I can’t work as I supposed to, my right eye is close to being legally blind, what if I have to going on disability benefits, what if? Would I be better off moving back to Holland and bug my parents? What if?  What if?
One of the calls I made was also to an old friend who works in HR and I battered her with question after question, and very patiently answered all the questions that bothered me, and then said, but… shall we wait first and see what the glasses do?
She was right…. What will the glasses do?

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